He is Faithful

I sit here in amazement at my God.
Just when I think He is nowhere to be found, He always pulls through for me.

Faithful is my God.

This week has been a rollercoaster and I didn't know how to get off.

I kept thinking,

I didn't ask for this ride, I want off. Let me go!

Thursday night I was questioning God....

Where are you? What are you doing? What is going on? What are you trying to prove?

The Lord is certainly testing me. Constantly. And I always seem to fail these tests. Why can't this be something I can study for? I'm much better at those, God. But then I realize, He doesn't want me to be comfortable, He wants me to constantly be trusting Him at all times. Not just when I want to.

Why is that so hard sometimes?

Jesus, help me rely on you and not my own thinking. Be my voice.

Probably because I feel like things would be better if I was in control. Big negative. But that's how I think sometimes. I'm pretty sure we've all thought that way. Then I also realize, things are not all about me. He has a reason for all He does. That's easy to say, and easy to seem like we understand. I still don't fully get it. And I think I like that, because it keeps me in check. It makes me search for answers. Even when I want to give up, in the back of my mind I know I can't. But even if I do, He's going to pull through and turn my eyes back to Him.

Father, thank you for being in control of my life. Please don't let me think my way is better than yours.

Tonight I was at the mall, doing some looking and buying some new car air freshners. Satisfied with my purchase, I decided to make my way to the car. As I approached the doors, a lady walked in with a questioning look on her face. She kindly stopped me, and began to ask me the question that was burning in her mind. She went on to talk to me about a girl at her and her husbands apartment complex who was giving her trouble tonight, and ended up using some choice words with her. The woman was asking me if she was in the wrong with how she reacted to this girl. I began to encourage her and she continued to talk to me about life, and her new knitting club and how she knows she's there to be an example to the women. She went on to talk about church and how people have been discouraging her with different situations.
Then, she started talking about how great our God is, how He is on our side, how He is with us even when life seems too turbulent!

This woman and I talked for 30 minutes, encouraging one another to stand strong. At the end, I introduced myself, thanked her for stopping me, and told her what a blessing she had been to me. As I walked to my car, I couldn't help but laugh at the Lord and how He is using people all around us.

The Lord brought last night to my mind and reminded me,

Christina, do you remember asking me "Where are you, God?"

I stopped in my tracks and replied,

Yes

He went on to say,

I am here, I am everywhere, I am with you, my daughter. I sent that woman to show you that I will use your surroundings. Just look. Be aware. Observe, my child. All you have to do is search and you will find.

Oh, Jesus, how can I doubt you? I am so sorry. Father, I know you're here. Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for showing me you are in control. Please guide me. Please help me to stay strong in the weak times.

You are my Rock and my Refuge.

I will keep my eyes fixed on you.

Thank you for being Faithful.