A Gift

I've been given this gift, it didn't come in shiny paper or with a big, huge bow. I found it hidden down deep, I searched. I've seen what it can do, I've heard what it can do, now I have to find out for myself how and to what extent I can use it. Sometimes I think I need to wear a sign, "Caution"..."Handle with Care"..."Fragile". I'd wear the sign not only for other people, but for myself too. I tend to get caught up in things and take on the emotions of others. I have to remind myself to take it easy. I always want to take on others burdens and fix them for myself.

Father, I can't do this without you, give me strength and guidance.

With this gift, people think, Oh, she's trying too hard, she's fake, she wants something in return. I'm not looking for a gold star. I'm not keeping track. I don't need the praise. I see potential. I see the need. I see the heart of the matter. I see what I want to do. I do what I think I should. I don't do it for myself. I don't need a pat on the back. Life doesn't give rewards, stars, or cards. I'm not one that wants the spotlight. I don't need the attention. But thank you.

I'm a daughter of my Father who longs to please Him with what He's given her. He's given me so much, that I can only try and give back to Him. I watch the people around me... they watch me, try to analyze, they assume, they have their own opinions. I see it. I feel it. I know they judge me. Or am I judging them for thinking their judging me? I don't know. But I just know how my heart feels.

I ask Him,

Father, why do they judge me? Why do they assume? Can't they see I long to please you? Can't they see how I want to do what you've told me to do?

He gently replies,

Sweet daughter, I see what you're doing. Shouldn't that be what you're thinking about? I see your heart. You will be rewarded.

Oh Jesus, yes, that's all I long for. I won't be worried about them. Have your way, Lord. I know you see the heart of what I'm doing.

Thank you for giving me this gift. This gift is the most precious to me. Unlike anything I've ever received. I promise to cherish it, to take care of it, and use it for Your glory. And Yours alone. I can't take credit, I don't want to. I can only do the best I can, to give back to you, what you've given to me.

Sweet Savior, my heart longs for people. I want them to see you through me. I pray that they would also have a heart to serve.

I am your servant. I am your daughter. I am confident in that. I am a child of God. How could I not serve you? You've given me so much. You're my Provider. Thank you. Just as I pray every day, that you'd be honored and glorified in my actions and words. Be in my midst. I know you're there. I feel you. Thank you. That's all I long to be. I won't listen to the lies. I want you above all else. More than my closest relationships. You are my ultimate love.

I can't be all they want me to be. I can't fulfill those voids and insecurities they want me to. Give them hearts to seek you. Mend their brokeness. I pray I can be of help though... there goes that gift again. It's my heart. It will be with me forever. Only you can do the healing. You are the Ultimate Healer. Not just in sickness. You've healed me. You've restored me. And that's not where it stops. You're still at work in me. I strive to continue to draw in closer.

Thank you for trusting me with this gift. For believing in me to be responsible with it. Help me to use it in the right ways and at the right times. I pray that I would be able to polish this jewel, so that it will shine bright, that others would be able to see what you've done in me, so that in return they would long to find their gifts and put them to use. I know this is not the only gift you have given me and you are still revealing all of them to me. So, I thank you. Continue to show yourself.

Walk beside me, Lord.

Guide me.